After two and a half years in HK, I’ve now been to my first wedding.

I had been assured by the groom that it was quite a western wedding by HK standards. The only thing western to me was they had a church ceremony, white was worn by the bride, the groomsmen were in suits, there was a wedding cake and wine, plenty of photos were taken and part of the ceremony was in English. The similarities stopped there.

The day began with the groom and his men arriving at where the brides and bridesmaids are staying. He had to convince them that he is worthy of marrying the bride. This is usually done by passing a series of tests (proving how well he knows her) and paying the bridesmaids with lai see.

At this stage, the bride wore a red dress and in this case, it was fairly western but with a Chinese style collar (I saw this on video at the reception). Once the bride and groom were together, they went to her parents’ place for a tea ceremony and then his parents’ for the same. It is a process of acknowledging and thanking their elders and is a mark of respect.

Then it was church time. Everyone but the bride arrived at around 1pm for the ceremony at 1.30pm. The bridesmaids were already there and mingling with the guests. The bride then showed with her dad and they walked down the aisle led by the maid of honour. The ceremony was by a lawyer and the church was non-denominational.

Immediately following, groups of people were called to the front of the church to have their photos taken with the couple. I fell into the ‘current work colleagues’ group. There was then five hours before the reception was to begin at the Four Seasons. People typically play mahjong during this time in a room booked by the couple.

So far, the bride had worn two outfits and her hair styled in two different ways.

As I arrived at the reception, I gave my lai see packet and was ticked off a list (the amount put in is to be relative to the relationship you have with the couple and also the venue they have chosen as in effect, you’re paying for your own dinner. Many couples make a profit on this and there’s actually a whole story around how this money is allocated as some also goes back to the parents). I was then given my assigned table number and signed a large card.

I was offered wine (non-traditional), and a piece of the already cut wedding cake. It was sponge. Only having two hands made taking the drink and the wedding cake a little tricky so I made the obvious choice and took the wine.

On display was a book of their wedding photos. It is like a book you would have on the coffee table rather than a photo album. Beautifully air-brushed (by his own admission) the groom had lost ten years. Interestingly, these photos had all been taken about eight months ago and featured different clothes again.

While we were eating cake / drinking wine, the couple stood under a sign of their names having photos taken with everyone. I can only imagine how sore their cheeks were by the end of the night.

Not everyone goes to the ceremony as the reception is considered more important to the Chinese. Not many people would ever miss the opportunity for a banquet as communal eating is very important to their culture.

The bride was in yet another dress.

After these photos were taken, we went to our assigned tables. There were 250 of us so there were quite a few. Two MCs bantered in both Cantonese and English on a large stage with a five tier wedding cake that stood at 1.5 metres. The couple then entered.

The bride was in another dress.

They made their speeches, we toasted them and they cut the cake. This is all for show as only the bottom part of the cake is really edible but was not offered. The bride and groom then sat down and the banquet began. It was past 9pm and I was starving.

There were about ten courses (I don’t remember the exact number but this is not an exaggeration). There is a specific order that food must be served at a Chinese wedding. It would usually start with either suckling pig or Peking duck. This one had the pig. Both dishes are celebratory in nature.

There were another two courses when the bride disappeared again to return in another outfit.

After the sharks’ fin soup (click the link to see why I don’t eat this), it was time for the couple to begin touring the tables to receive their individual toasts. This is always done after the soup.

The bride disappeared to come back in another evening dress.

A video of the day was broadcast so we could see them all getting ready through to roughly one hour prior to the reception starting.

This whole process went on (I remember fish, vegetables, beef, rice, noodles all served separately) until the petit-fours were served. They had one of my favourites – glutinous coconut balls with egg custard so I was pretty happy about things. The people on the main table then disappeared (the couple, their family and the bridal party). Rather than farewelling the couple, it turns out the main table farewells the guests.

So when the eating stopped, everyone began to rise and leave – there’s no dancing.

There is however, another outfit for the bride.

* Thanks to Billy Idol for the title to this post.