Yesterday marked my eighth year since arriving in Hong Kong. A lot has changed over what was initially a 2-3 year adventure / plan. In particular, a lot has changed in the last three years which roughly coincides with when I last blogged here.
One of these is the main reason why it has taken me so long to begin writing again; I’ve been adjusting from being a “we” to an “I”.
Family – came with a husband a dog and a cat. I now have the dog. The pets were never that close and the cat and I rarely saw eye to eye unless he was trying to scratch one of mine out. It means I’ve gained a peaceful household, a bucketload of experience and a realisation I was with a long-term partner rather than a lifetime one. It was amicable, though still tough.
Would we still be together if we hadn’t relocated? I’ve been asked this yet it’s not something I contemplate since it doesn’t change the fact that I’m now divorced. I see it as a waste of thinking that could either be channelled to what I’ve learnt from the marriage / divorce experience or to how I’m going to improve my future and make plans toward this. Much more productive and worthwhile.
If both people are committed to the relationship, whatever life throws and whatever decisions are made along the way, it will all work out. With that in mind, location doesn’t really matter.
I don’t subscribe to the Jerry McGuire “you complete me” way of thinking. This would have made for a way harder break up since I’d really be missing a piece of me, instead, I was just temporarily broken and lost my extension i.e. the ‘us / we’. My thinking is more “if you’re not whole to start with, another person is just filling a missing gap rather than helping me to become a better me”. Doesn’t sound quite as catch as the Jerry McGuire line so it’s unlikely to appear in a movie any time soon.
I’m enjoying being single now that I’m more use to it and feel ‘together’ again. After so long being in a partnership, the adjustment took some time. It’s now quite freeing and liberating to only focus on me and what I enjoy.
I could sell the positives of being in a relationship or being single so don’t read anything else into this and fall into the Grass is Greener Trap!
One of the other benefits is that I’ve finally cooked my first whole turkey by myself…
I could sell the positives of being in a relationship or being single so don’t read anything else into this and fall into the Grass is Greener Trap!
One of the other benefits is that I’ve finally cooked my first whole turkey by myself…
Friends – my circle of friends has widened and deepened. Having more time to focus on friendships as a result of moving has been a contributing factor.
I’m part of a transient community. It’s meant that friendships are decided quickly and it’s likely that the person will be leaving in the not too distant future. It would be wrong to assume that these friendships are superficial given this; it tends to be the opposite as these people are also family away from home, only I’m able to choose these ones!
Housing – aside from selling our house in Sydney (paying it off quickly was one of the main reasons we moved to HK), I’ve moved to Hong Kong Island from Lantau. It’s meant a much smaller apartment and commute. I can even walk on those days were the humidity isn’t 98% and temperature isn’t 35C.
My commute has reduced from almost 3 hours per day to about 40 minutes on a bad / lazy day. Admittedly, this has also been helped by a change in my work location so as a like for like comparison it would be about 2 hours to 40 minutes.
Since moving, I’ve been able to expand my social life beyond the Lantau focus as I’m able to easily go home after work, take my dog out and then still go out to meet friends.
Massive impact on the quality of my life.
I also became a permanent resident of HK which has some great benefits like not having to worry about being sponsored by a company for a visa anymore!
Jobs – my first finished in December 2013. We wound down the company, which was an interesting experience. I enjoyed my work, the people and the company, the payout and a chance to travel for an extended period!
My second began in late July 2014. I’m still enjoying it. This is another area where I’m particularly fortunate since I seem to find companies that have great people, the opportunity to make a difference and evolve my role toward the things I’m interested in. They all have their challenges but that’s part of what I enjoy. Lucky me!
Travel – this is one of the best reasons to be so centrally located to the rest of the world.
Between roles, I took an 84 day trip to Hawaii, South America and Antarctica. I met some friends along the way, made new friends and also joined a few tours. Very pleased to have had this opportunity!
Sorting out the photos on the other hand…
I also took quite a few trips to various countries in Asia and went to Russia and New York over this time. I’m considering where to go this year.
This amount of travel isn’t unusual amongst foreigners here however I hadn’t done this much prior to being single.
Diving – my only regret is that I didn’t discover the joy of diving earlier in my life!
I’ve snorkeled over the years yet nothing beats diving and seeing the underwater world from this perspective. It’s the closest to being in outer space in terms of weightlessness and the three dimensional space thing, that unless I’m totally surrounded by the one element, I never really appreciate. Diving at night heightens the outer space feeling with the ocean appearing dark over the whiteness of the sand and the strange creatures that come out at night compared to the more colourful ones that are normally seen during the day. Regardless of timing, the underwater world is awesome. It’s also a great way to meet people.
The longer that I am here, the more the lifestyle transforms from novel to normal. My normal has definitely shifted and became obvious during my last visit to Sydney when I made comparisons referring to Hong Kong as home and seeing the Sydney experience as unusual.
I’m no longer sure when I’ll move back or even if I will or if I’ll move to somewhere else altogether. It feels kind of weird not knowing though it is also exciting since it means the opportunities are limitless. I figure as long as I’m having a good time, I must be doing something right!
Now to focus on some goals that are non-location specific… and this time being more regular with my blogging!
* Thanks to Noah and the Whale for the title to this post
** Next post will be shorter and less serious!