Or: How to increase your daily steps without really trying

My tale begins with two beers and ends via an accidental detour to the Queen Mary Hospital, arriving at my latest home roughly two hours later, with some lessons learnt.

Don’t panic, I wasn’t in the emergency section (the only other area of a hospital where I think it is possible to be by accident rather than on purpose), I was in the carpark.

I nursed those beers over an hour and left the venue with a new friend who showed me where the MTR is in North Point (it was my first time at this venue and I had no idea where the station was). I was feeling quite tired.

I left at the end of the line, Kennedy Town, which is a Green Mini Bus ride away from the place where I am now staying in Pok Fu Lam. Walking toward the bus stop, my stomach made a little grumble which I decided to ignore given how tired I was since I would soon be in bed at a rather embarrassing time of 8.30pm on a Friday night. I can be such a party animal.

There was a guy on crutches, whistling a rather annoying tune while he waited for the bus. I sat behind him when I got on. He didn’t stop whistling even though there were others already onboard.

I decided to reply to a message a friend had sent earlier in the day which I hadn’t had the opportunity to read as yet. We messaged back and forth with me regularly looking up to see where I was.

Conversation finished, I looked up again to see a familiar service station. This service station is not on the way to where I am staying. A guy yells out for the bus to stop and he leaves. I stay on as I could’t quite work out where I was.

The bus continued, the driver, like a bat out of hell, turned into the rather steep twisted driveway of the hospital and up its various switchbacks, I was thrown around. It stopped. We all disembarked as it is the last stop for this bus service.

Now, I could just as easily have joined the new queue and caught it back down but I didn’t. I figured I must be close to where I was staying so I could walk back fairly easily which was fortunate since I was thinking that a bathroom would be needed in the not too distant future.

Down the switchbacks, over the walkway crossing the four lanes (perhaps more, it’s all a bit of a blur) of traffic and back in the direction I came from. I encountered my first obstacle with the path breaking into multiple directions cutting both over and under the road. I took a guess which one to take and continued.

A little while later, with my need for the bathroom intensifying, I saw one on the other side of the busy road. There was no place to cross and no under or overpass. I continued my trek.

Five minutes later, an underpass, I took it after looking at Google Maps as it told me I had walked too far and needed to double back. On the other side, I checked the app again, to find that I should have turned around and just walked back on the path I had already taken.

My bladder wasn’t thrilled with this uncertainty so I continued on my original direction, on the other side of the road, knowing that a service station would appear at some stage in the not too distant future. When one finally did, there didn’t seem to be a public bathroom.

I continued walking and saw a sign for the MTR. There is a toilet there so my bladder forced my feet to continue in that direction.

Following the various MTR signs, I walked streets I’d never seen before I arrived back at Kennedy Town MTR Station and relief.

Well over 10,000 steps for the day and now a stomach that couldn’t be ignored, I stopped for sushi before heading back to the Green Mine ibus Stop. The bus arrived, I boarded and kept my eyes peeled the entire trip.

I yelled out at the correct spot and left the bus.

Weary, full, relieved and well-walked, I had a great sleep.

Lessons
– if sitting behind a whistling man, wear headphones or change seats

– while objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear, a distance at night, when it is cold, and the bladder is full, is not

– don’t text and ride when your bus driver thinks he’s riding a motorbike, you really should just hold on

– a return journey on the same minibus is a great way to learn the area. Doing it on foot in the dark is not so productive for this purpose though it is good exercise

– don’t eat a meal at a restaurant where the people in it don’t appear to be happy, particularly if the restaurant name means happy, cheery or similar – that is false advertising.

* Thanks to Lionel Richie for the title to this post.