This is an adaptation of One Night In Bangkok from the musical Chess so feel free to hum along (the rhymes are a bit loose!). The day ended well with a great lunch at a sushi train followed by one of those Belgium waffles that I’ve written about previously. Our freebies were a wireless keyboard and mouse as well as a mini-stereo system – not bad for signing up for things we needed anyway!

[The Australians]
Mong Kok, Oriental setting
And the Shallots don’t know what they’ll be getting
Those that want to get their gifts of loyalty
Redemptions from companies all for free.

Time flies – doesn’t seem a minute
Since Australia had the Shallot family in it
All change – don’t you know that when you
Move to Hong Kong it’s no ordinary venue.

It’s Central – or Tsim Sha Tsui or Lan Kwai Fong – or –
Or this place!

[The Company]
One morning in Mong Kok at the redemption centre
People queuing to get their gifts for free
You’ll find a gift for signing up to anything
And if you’re lucky then the gift’s not a “Hello Kitty”
I can feel a trillion people sliding up next to me.

[The Australians]
One town’s very like another
When you’re stuck in a queue chatting, brother

[Company]
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
To be stuck in a redemption queue, not looking at the city

[The Australians]
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one queue, long, going on forever —

[Company]
Electronics, computers, markets,
May even find some carpets

[The Australians]
Get Mong Kok’d! You’re now talking to a local
Who’s trying not to be a yokel.
I get my kicks above the profit line, sunshine

[Company]
One morning in Mong Kok can make a tired couple grumble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One morning in Mong Kok and the new locals tumble
This is what happens when you’re cashing in on things for free
I can feel a trillion people queuing next to me

[The Australians]
Long-term locals are definitely experts
To the ultimate cash in on services perks
This amazes me more than would a
Muddy old river but not the largest seated bronze Buddha.

And thank God I’m only here temporarily – witnessing it –

I don’t see many gweilos queuing
For the free gifts that we’re getting
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But standing in long queues for freebies would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours –-

[Company]
One morning in Mong Kok at the redemption centre
People queuing to get their gifts for free
You’ll find a gift for signing up to anything
And if you’re lucky then the gift’s not a “Hello Kitty”
I can feel a trillion people sliding up next to me.

One morning in Mong Kok makes a patient couple grumble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One morning in Mong Kok and the new locals tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company
I can feel a trillion people queuing next to me