It’s Chinese New Year again and this one is the coldest in 12 years. For that very reason, Mr Shallot and I have spent most of this long weekend indoors doing fairly mundane things unlike last year.

We’ve watched a number of videos including Alien vs Predator. This prompted me to start pondering some of life’s important questions such as:

• Do movie characters what movies themselves?
• If yes, how come those in horror / suspense / thriller films never seem to have watched these genres?
• If they have watched these genres, how come they don’t use the knowledge they have gained from watching these films?
• If they don’t watch movies themselves, what do they do in their down time?

The above film is a great example of this. Given that it is a sequel to both the Alien and Predator movies, I would have expected that at least a few of the characters would have seen at least one of the movies from at least one of the series. Based on this, why did they choose to pick up weapons when they realized the Predator was hunting them? Why didn’t they blow themselves up as soon as an Alien landed on them?

Furthermore, if the characters hadn’t watched either of these series, surely it can be assumed that they have watched something from that genre in which case, why did they ever split up and find themselves trapped alone in a darkened room? Everyone knows that is just plain stupid.

Clearly Mr Shallot and I are going to be fine if we ever find ourselves hunted by the Predator or stuck somewhere obscure with any of the Aliens. I’ve found out that there is now another in the Alien vs Predator (Aliens vs Predator – Requiem) series so I’ll be curious to see if any of those characters have watched the previous movie.

I’m now thinking about another big question from a show that I don’t even watch:

• When do the characters in 24 go to the toilet?

I think I have cabin fever…