Last week we took Friday and Monday off work to have a long weekend in Haikou for the 70.3 Ironman.

It was the worst holiday we’ve ever had.

With most competitors, we stayed at the Crown Spa Resort. It looks great on the internet. Only the middle section of the hotel was being used for accommodation with the two wings either side, run down and derelict. The pool which they see as their crowning glory was drained. The food included a buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner. The breakfast was included, the lunch was the same as breakfast without cereal, waffles or French toast but and another hot dish was added and dinner was double-the price of lunch and had prawns. I guess they were trying to have a seafood buffet.

I had anticipated a tropical holiday lazing by the pool sipping a cocktail or two. The weather was breezy when we arrived, bucketed down on the Saturday, Sunday was 45 degrees (the day of the triathlon) and Monday was fabulous. I tried to laze by the pool Saturday afternoon and found that the swim up pool bar was not operating and that the bar by the pool wasn’t open until the evening.

It was also 30 minutes away from the city. The town itself was like any other old meets new town in Asia. I’m sure there are some great tourist spots but I didn’t have the opportunity or the inclination to go looking for them.

Then there was the triathlon. Normally they run even more smoothly than a well-oiled machine but something seemed to be not quite right this time around.

The Transition Area was in the middle of nowhere so it was difficult to get to as a spectator and nothing was there (including no drinks or brown sunglasses). The finish line was also difficult to get to even though there were buses organized. At the last minute, the schedule had been revised but no-one knew the new times. A few of us went in a taxi as it looked like we may not get to see our respective Ironpeople finish.

Then there was the actual triathlon. Mr Shallot had the worst event of his life which saw him lose his goggles, cut his foot, his body shut down while cycling and then ended with him walking most of the run.

While this was happening, I finally arrived at the finish line with a few other triathlon widows. I found a good spot to cheer everyone in and my new friends joined me. We were standing next to some police and security staff who heard me speak with Chris McCormack, or Macca, (he’s a bit of a legend in the sport) who was winning and asked how much further it was. I told him “about 300m” to which he replied “this is the hardest one I’ve ever done”. The police then found chairs for my new buddies and me to sit on and even let us sit in the shade on the wrong side of the barrier.

I was left with the locals as the others’ partners / husbands crossed the line and still no Mr Shallot. I had expected him a lot earlier but I was having a good time with some of the locals even though we were using the international language of charades. They even gave me drinks and buns to eat while I cheered on other competitors and taught them a bit about triathlons.

On Monday, the Haikou Airport saw 70 triathletes trying to check in at the same time with their 70 bike boxes. It was hot and people were losing their patience as the staff couldn’t work out how to load the boxes. Not many had been thrilled with their holiday at the Crown Spa and this was the final straw. It turned out to be the straw before the final straw.

We all managed to check in and arrive safely back in HK. Normally I would be hard-pressed to find any fault with this airport and the way it is run. This time though, we went to where the bikes normally come out to then be sent to the other end of the airport. We waited there for 15 minutes to then be sent back to where we had originally waited. We waited there for about an hour in total. We could then finally go home.

At least we had two days off work.

* Thanks to Madonna for the title to this post.