The theme for my work’s annual dinner this year was ‘Ballroom Dancing’ so I went dressed as Morticia Addams.

While the link is not immediately obvious, the blog title should give you a clue.

Some of my colleagues and I have attending dance classes for the past few weeks and can now cha-cha, waltz and tango – badly. Our instructors gave us quite complex moves (given we’re beginners) and most of the instruction was in Cantonese. It was entertaining and added to the challenge of trying to overcome my natural unco-ordination. I am definitely made for other things.

As I’d had these lessons, I was asked to participate in the dance competition by my team mate who was helping organise the event. He’d said that I should be supportive of his efforts and not let him down. A French guy giving me the ‘be a mate’ line. As an Australian, I have to say yes to that even though watching me dance would be painful for all concerned. Given he’s French, I told him to expect that I’ll be cashing in on a huge favour later. I’m yet to think of what that is but it’s going to have to be suitably embarrassing.

I found my partner in the elevator on the way to work. We were chatting and decided that if we could do something silly, it wouldn’t be so bad. And with that, a partnership was born.

Brainstorming gave us the idea to go dressed up so we could dance in character. We’d decided to tango as while that it quite a sexy dance, it is also the easiest to be silly with. Famous tangos and couples were talked about and then we reached Gomez and Mortia Addams. Further research uncovered various YouTube videos of the pair of them dancing and the idea was then solidified.

Two short rehearsals later and we were due to perform. Our competition also had limited notice of their participation so it was a level playing field in that regard though some were good dancers.

We kept our plans secret and arrived in traditional dancing outfits. I’d had my makeup and hair professionally done (I’m also hopeless at this) and received many positive comments during the early part of the evening. I was told by one woman that I looked twenty years younger. Happy days – but what does that say for me normally?!!!

At 8pm, I left the dinner, put on my long black wig, black gloves, jewellery and had my make up reapplied. I had transformed into Morticia.

The dancing was hilarious. I didn’t smile once which seemed to add to the crowd’s enthusiasm. Bowing afterwards, the audience were yelling for me to smile which resulted in a head nod in their direction.

Every year I’ve been nominated for best costume and this year was no exception. I’m one win from three now. Looks like I’ll have to think of something good again for next year.

With an open bar and lucky door prizes, many stayed quite late dancing to more normal music. My team were still there when the ugly lights came on and I decided then it was my time to leave.

I learnt quite a few things this evening and in the preparation for it:
1) my manager is a bigger stayer than the rest of us (she arrived home at 3am which is a pretty good effort for a Thursday night party)
2) it takes more than five lessons to teach me to dance
3) I can only learn one dance at a time and even then, not well
4) a long wig is very hot, even in winter; and
5) I don’t think black hair is for me

* Thanks to Tom Lehrer for the title to this post. It’s worth listening to a few of his other songs if you’ve never heard them before. They’re quite funny and he’s an interesting person himself.