I’ve just been walked all over and it was good!

At the encouragement of a number of friends, the aid of a few gift vouchers and my subsequent bulk purchase of treatments, 2015 will be the year of having regular massages.

Massages are fairly cheap in HK relative to most western countries. There is no shortage of venues catering for every taste, style, price range and time of the day. From foot massages which also tend to include a shoulder and leg rub through to the more decadent where soaking in a hot tub is followed by various saunas, steam rooms and heated tiled chairs, the hard part is choosing a location. Food and drink are provided at many ranging from fresh coconuts to champagne and chocolate brownies.

Today saw me at one of the more salubrious venues for the massage of my life.

Arriving an hour and a half early for my appointment, my shoes were removed and replaced with slippers as I was given a refreshing ginger tea. My health was confirmed and I was then escorted into the women’s change rooms, given a soft bathrobe, a locker and a tour of the facilities.

After changing, I met with a friend in the peppermint-infused heated pool with the submerged aluminium lounges. At the touch of a button, my back was massaged by pressure jets and bubbles as we caught up on news.

From there into the steam room housing a massive chunk of amethyst. It’s meant to be for meditation and good for your heart. It was good for a catch up too and I hope it helped me fight off this cold as sweat poured out.

Next to the cold mist showers…. brrrrrr. And more peppermint. I’m a fan of eating and drinking mint and it had been a while since I had wallowed in it.

Back to the peppermint-water lounge. Dried off, put on the disposable boy shorts and bathrobe, and lazed in the relaxation room waiting to be called in for the massage.

Through a labyrinth, we arrived at the very last room where on the floor, was a futon. The lights were dimmed further as I changed into the supplied drawstring pants and black t-shirt and was told to lie face up. I have never been told that for a massage at the beginning before and it was the start of a few firsts.

Her name is Ong and she is a tiny Thai powerhouse. She contorted her body into various positions as she used her feet, legs, elbows, forearms and hands to manipulate, put pressure on and move my body. She was brilliant.

I was twisted to resemble a pretzel which is pretty impressive given my general lack of flexibility (that’s another 2015 goal, to be able to touch my toes without having to stretch first). My legs went one way, my upper body the other. My head went another direction and before I knew it, I was lying only on my shoulders. Twisting over, parts of my body that I didn’t realise were tight, were released of tension.

She walked up and down me, turned me inside out and back again, manipulated every muscle that I knew I had and a few that had been having a rest for a while while we chatted about holiday destinations (Thai’s need visas for just about everywhere and huge amounts of paperwork to prove that they will be returning and have enough cash to do so; she also gets a great discount on hotels around the world given where she works and is currently planning a trip to Prague).

Ninety minutes passed to the sound of my body clicking, knots forcibly displaced and some giggling  since, as it turns out, some areas of my body are surprisingly ticklish even under pressure. I had been stretched in every direction and was feeling incredibly relaxed. I changed back into the bathrobe and was led into the relaxation room for a banana, some rose tea and nuts.

I’ve had various Thai massages, including in Thailand, but nothing compares to this one. Also in price…

I think I have gained two inches in height and my posture seems to have improved.

Time to check the budget!

* Thanks to Dire Straits for the title to this post.