Young Years

Posted Ms Shallot

One of the 974 things I like about Hong Kong,

minimal ageism.

I’ve been thinking about this for a little while now and it wasn’t until a dinner party last Saturday that the word ‘ageism’ was used and my thoughts were given a name.

My dining companions were a 13 year old and a few in their 40s and 50s. The conversation flowed with a total disregard for age. Everyones’ experiences and views were taken, analysed and debated.

I am yet to see this in any other country. Not only that, adults dress-up at the drop of a (sequinned, top, party) hat, continue to go to nightclubs and stay out until all hours of the night / morning on a fairly consistent basis with no-one batting an eye.

The unusual part of this (aside from an inordinate amount of stamina) is while out, conversations and dancing will occur with anyone as long as they aren’t too creepy – this is not an age related creepy, it’s more of an unwanted groping related creepy and closely aligned to the sleazy aspect which is generally also avoided though, as is the case in those countries where ageism does occur, sleaziness and drunkenness are strongly correlated and most tend to veer clear of those exhibiting too much of either.

However, as with anything done to excess, minimal ageism does have a dark side.

Mostly impacting middle-aged men, they become inflicted by

Peter Pan Syndrome.

Lured by the seductiveness of living their teenage years (or twenties for the late developers) again, it can be difficult to escape. Early signs are excessive late nights mid-week being sucked into the vortex that is Lan Kwai Fong (LKF) and / or Wan Chai. 
It starts innocently enough. 
After work drinks to celebrate some occasion or another followed by dinner, followed by a few more drinks before supposedly going home. Sometimes dinner is missed. Waiting for a taxi, it’s decided to walk up another street and before “I’m only going to stay for one more”,  is uttered, it’s 4am, five beverages too many have been consumed and sweat is dripping from every pore after dancing to another Filipino cover band in Dusk Till Dawn (they are very impressive. There’s also not a shortage of other places to go at this hour either). Time to rush home for possibly three hours sleep (assuming there’s no children living there), to then head into the office after a quick splash in the shower having hit snooze roughly five times too many.
At this early stage of the infliction is the heartfelt declaration of “I won’t be doing that again” or “that’s the last time I have more than three drinks mid-week” or “I’m not going out after a work dinner” or similar. Those that have watched this occur numerous times smile to themselves while trying to give the speaker some sort of reassurance while not sounding cynical. Especially if the speaker themselves has said these words a number of times over the last few months.
Perhaps there’s an occasion the following night too or maybe not until the following week.  The vortex is strong and those previous resolutions are diminished with the usual “I’m only going to stay for one. I really have to go early tonight because of (insert some really lame excuse here and feel free to blame the significant other, heavy work load or lack of sleep)”. No-one is going to believe it anyway. Travel is generally accepted since many have gone out and then caught flights immediately afterward. A long-haul flight after going out is this generally simultaneously admired and commiserated.
The vortex is more powerful than someone on the verge of Peter Pan Syndrome however and before uttering the words “I really shouldn’t” they really really did. 
The thing is, a great time is had by all. Until the following morning. Which seems to be forgotten when the vortex starts its pull after the next after work beverage.
And this is the seductiveness of the vortex. It is not until the morning after when calves are cramping from too much dancing and not enough salt (probably because they bought a kebab at Ebennezer’s rather than hot chips on the way home), that the wisdom of going out is even questioned.
It is a very social aspect of living here. Without fail, new people will be met, drinks bought (and possibly jelly shots), dances had and it’s the start of either some business, a longer-term relationship / one-night stand or a networking opportunity whereby they may not have anything in common for you and you personally can’t help them out with anything either but one of you will know someone that can help the other. Or you will have gone to the same uni, lived in the same town or know someone else in common. In a country of 7 million people, this happens a lot.
It’s this and the feeling young again that does it. 
The morning after is forgotten by the following day at the latest or the next ‘occasion’ and the cycle repeats.
The irony is that in most of these peoples’ younger days, they would have been clubbing, seen older people out and vowed they never wanted to appear like ‘that’. Since there’s minimal ageism here, those looks aren’t given to those who would get them in their home countries and so there’s no real disincentive aside from a significant other threatening to change that status or that one hangover too many and the problem is recognised and addressed. Or a work colleague or manager could have words in regard to a slip in work performance based on being tired. This is of particular concern to those on visas rather than having residency.
Those that are afflicted by Peter Pan Syndrome find it difficult to escape its clutches. They often don’t realise they are suffering from it. The only thing they really suffer from (in their mind) is lack of sleep, excessive alcohol consumption (and possibly drugs depending on the circles they mix with), diminished relationships with their significant others unless they are participating too, impact on their work if they’re consistently turning up tired and change in dress sense since they take on the styles of the dominant age group that is going out. 
While they may feel young while out, their bodies and heads let them know the following day that some more rest is in order and they find it harder to ‘back up’ as the years progress. 
Most would take this as a signal to slow down. 
In HK though, there are a lot of slow learners…
* Thanks to Dragon for the title to this post. Now there’s a blast from the past! They’ve been around since 1973 and still touring so I think it’s fitting.