It is so incredibly reliable that if a train is delayed by more than five minutes, for whatever the reason, it makes the news. The Mass Transit Rail (MTR) is so clean, that aside from the sheer volume of people that walk through the stations each day, you could probably eat off the floor. It would be difficult to find space in peak hour but the rest of the time, you’d be fine. You’d also have to bring your own food.

People don’t eat or drink on the trains because we’re not allowed to. This is one of the rules that is universally followed. One of the other 974 thinks I like about Hong Kong is the selective following of rules / the law and the subsequent consequences. If it makes sense and is not too inconvenient, it’s followed. Otherwise, it’s neogtiable.

This is one of the areas where some Chinese visitors have come stuck as they haven’t followed the particular no eating on the MTR rule and have been abused, photographed and publicly shamed in both the local media and the internet. This one is not a negotiable rule. Everyone follows it to the letter.

The trams, affectionately known as the ding-dings due to their bells they ring while pulling into a stop, are a really cheap yet slow way to get around HK Island. There is something quite peaceful about sitting on one upstairs, with all the time in the world, and going a good distance. No food though I’ve seen people snack.

The buses also follow a fairly strict timetable and it’s unusual for them to be late unless there’s an Umbrella Revolution, HSBC issuing celebratory HKD150 notes or a massive accident (even those are cleared quickly). The timetables have the traffic conditions of that time already accounted. You’re not meant to eat or drink on these however, it’s seen on occasion. 

The green minibuses (GMBs) are different again. These minibuses can be caught from anywhere on the street though they have their own designated stops too. They will also stop anywhere that you ask them to as long as it’s along their route. Rather than a traditional timetable, the stops will say the frequency with which you can expect one to arrive. Again, these are unbelievably accurate. Food and drink is generally frowned upon but can be ok in some instances, though potentially quite messy.

The red minibuses (RMBs) are similar to the GMBs though they don’t have a set route. They have a definite start and finish point and everything in the middle is up for negotiation and based on where the passengers want to go. As someone with limited Cantonese, this is a bus trip lottery and an interesting way of exploring parts of HK that I may not otherwise see. This is also the style of travel where putting your seatbelt on is a good idea since even though these, as do the GMBs, have speed limiters and a display so passengers can see how fast they are going, many drivers seem to think they are in a Grand Prix and don’t like to slow for corners though they’ll happily accelerate out of them. It’s fun and wise not to try to eat or drink while on one.

There are many different ferry types and again, they are all clean and follow a timetable. Most either have designated areas where you can eat and drink (including alcohol) and some have outdoor areas too. 

All these methods of transport can be paid with an Octopus card or the exact amount of cash. Only the ferries can give change.

Then there are the taxis. These are divided into three types – green for the New Territories, blue for Lantau Island and red for most of the rest of HK. That said, the red divides into those that will cross the various harbour tunnels and those that won’t. The ones that cross tend to have a little red sign on their dashboard. Most taxis have a minimum of four mobile phones there too which is why the colour coding is useful! 

Compared to most other countries, these taxis are ridiculously cheap and also clean. The drivers can be a bit cheeky and have been known to pretend to not know where you’re talking about. There are various apps to help that as well as the internet and miraculously, suddenly they know exactly where you mean. Some eating can be ok but be careful, it is their livelihood afterall. 

The only downside about the taxis is aside from the worldwide issue of not being able to find a taxi during changeover, they don’t take credit cards or Octopus cards so you must always have the right amount or slightly more cash. They had trialled both forms of electronic payment and the story is that they were both stopped as tipping was then limited and taxi drivers rely heavily on tips. There’s probably other reasons too but this is the main one people raise.

Now, the reason why I’m so impressed with the transport today is actually based on my dragon boat experience yesterday. Paddling at Stanley with over 260 other teams, who each had at least 19 people, plus the staff of the day and then all the supporters, it gives you an idea of the sheer volume of people there. 

Extra buses were put on going in all the directions, guides stood with signs so everyone knew where to go and extra guiding barricades were put up to guide the queues. It all operated like clockwork. I queued for less than 20 minutes and was on my way.

I’m still impressed in spite of my two taxi experiences today. First was to go from Midlevels to Sai Kung and the next was my return. I’d need a cross harbour taxi to go over yet this was one of those rare times where after waiting for 30 minutes, they were all still hiding. I ended up catching a normal red taxi to the Star Ferry Pier and changing to a cross harbour one there. All good. 

Return journey had repeated calls made to the taxi dispatcher but with no joy. Walking to the main road, finally found one that could cross back to the Midlevels. Cheeky driver tried to charge extra for one of the tunnels and on questioning, suddenly the fee dropped to a round number.

I like the round numbers, at least there will be no need for a refund cheque...

* Thanks to Bruce Hornsby & the Range for the title to this post. A bit of a blast from the past, watch it here and no comments about the haircuts – that’s just how it was in 1986. Maybe I’ll learn this song when I start learning the piano next year.