My party pack even came with a message

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like doctors personally; I just don’t like going. It rarely seems to be a worthwhile experience. Hopsitals, I don’t like personally, professionally or any other ‘ly’ except ‘vehemently’ and ‘passionately’.

Doctors, it’s about the actual need to go in the first place. I’d rather spend time resting, eating extra healthily and reading. That should cure most things. I have to feel like I’m close to death or perhaps a limb is looking like it may need to be removed before I’ll go to a doctor. Or a friend has to take me.

That’s what happened yesterday.

Hospitals, it’s about the smell, the sterility and let’s face it, the only healthy people that choose to go to a hospital are probably there either visiting or to have a baby.

Going to one in HK, you register and are given a face mask to put on so you don’t spread your germs. Even those who are there to visit are given them because they may actually be sick and just not realise it yet.

I dislike these masks since I feel like I’m breathing the air I’ve just exhaled back in and there must be a serious lack of oxygen at that point (yes, I know some air gets through but it doesn’t feel like it) and it gives the impression of illness where none really exists. The plus side is that air-conditioning is set to freezing in hospitals (perhaps this is the humane way to kill bacteria similar to putting a live fish in the fridge) and the face mask does help keep my face warm.

Yesterday I saw a doctor at the hospital.

Yesterday I wore a face mask.

My particular dislike of going to the doctors in HK is slightly different to the doctors that I’ve seen in Australia. It seems that most things can be treated with amoxicilian or that’s prescribed for whenever they really don’t know what is wrong. I may be a bit cynical with this but those rare times I do go to a doctor here, it seems this is likely to be what they give me, no matter what the reason is that I’m there.

The other aspect that I can guarantee is that I’ll be given a party bag of other drugs. There is no chance that only one thing is ever given. The seriousness of whatever is wrong seems to influence the colour of drugs given. If you’re really sick, the drugs are a dull colour, generally browns, creams and perhaps white for a bit of purity and to look clinical. If you’re not too bad though, the party bag will be filled with brightly coloured tablets covering every colour of the rainbow. I’ve seen enough friends’ and colleagues’ party bags to be able to make this distinction.

Doctors prescribe the drugs and the collection point for them is either their reception desk or a special little window that has been set up. They can sell them individually or in bulk so you can have a personalised party bag as you leave the doctor’s office or the hospital.

Yesterday I came away with a brown syrup, white tablets and two-tone blue ones.

I am confused as to how sick this means I am.

Chatting with the doctor, I found none of these are antibiotics.

My confusion continues as does my dislike for going to the doctors and hospitals.

And I don’t like being sick.

* Thanks to The Black Keys for the title to this post. Much better listening to this tune than going to the doctors or the hospital!