Or – Visiting Can Be Easier Than Returning
Most people who have relocated will advise newcomers not to return to their home country for a visit too soon. “Too soon” is a completely subjective length of time dependent on the individual as well as the country in which they now reside.
I’ve added the last criteria today.
I have been living in Tokyo for eight months. In this past one and a half months, I’ve been back to Hong Kong three times. Actually, I’ve been back twice over the past seven days.
Now, just let me address the fact that HK is technically not my home country, that would be Australia. Pedants may argue it’s not really my home country either since I was born in South Africa. I’d counter, I have been living in Australia since I was one and I support the Wallabies.
HK is the place where I currently feel most “at home” however (note, the rugby team is improving). After almost ten years outside of Australia, when I visit, there is more unfamiliar than familiar now. Except for my family and friends of course.
This is actually part of the problem though it also has a massive upside.
The cultural difference between Australia and Japan is like the difference between those who are hardcore fans of Star Wars compared to Star Trek; between Beta and VHS; Earth and Mars; Mac and PC; Apple and Android; Colin Firth as Mr Darcy and anybody else…. You get the idea.
To have lived in HK first (rather than relocating to Japan straight from Australia), which is more like “Asia Light” (Singapore is the other “Asia Light” and as I’ve never lived there, I can’t comment too much on that destination suffice to say those that have lived in both places would tend to suggest it would be better referred to as “Asia Even Lighter”) was fortunate. The differences to Japan are still massive, just not quite as massive. Consider it more of a difference between those that will argue Episodes 1, 2, 3 of Star Wars are not really Star Wars at all and Jar Jar Binks is a waste of CGI efforts with those that can put an argument together of why Jar Jar is the mastermind behind the whole thing. It is all still Star Wars and there are some similarities across the entire franchise.
What has any of this got to do with visiting any country?
A lot.
Moving country means learning new ways of getting things done and being effective (from work through to sorting out your electricity, banking etc), understanding leases, making new friends, exploring new areas, finding places to buy food, new restaurants, understanding the currency etc. Everything is new and when moving to a country that is quite different from where you’ve been, there is quite a period of adjustment. Absolutely nothing is familiar and most things take a while to figure out how to do. For various reasons, this is magnified in Tokyo compared to HK.
It’s during this settling in period that it’s important to not return to the familiar country. Not because of the time visiting, but for peace of mind when returning to the new one. Returning to the “not just yet” home is usually unsettling as you’re in this bizarre limbo world where you’ve just spent time with family and / or friends, you’ve been in areas which you know well and can easily navigate, find your favourite foods and avoid any of the pitfalls that exist (banking in HK being a good example). Returning, the realization that you’re still in a foreign environment and you don’t quite fit yet, your support network is located elsewhere (though the Internet has made this a little easier) can be quite overwhelming, depressing and isolating. It can leave you questioning whether you’ve made the right choice.
The wider the difference between the two countries, the harder the readjustment.
I am writing this the evening before I return to Tokyo. I know what is in store for me so I can mentally prepare. I don’t feel as though I belong in Tokyo yet. I think that is going to take some more time. I still feel very much like I belong in HK. It’s not that I don’t like Tokyo, it’s that I don’t fit there yet.
Lucky I’m patient. Others would call me stubborn and a few would say crazy. It was always going to take a while because it is so different.
Also fortunate that I don’t tend to question my choices after they’re made. I like to move forward rather than looking backward when it comes to this kind of thing. It is too easy to do your own head in otherwise and there’s no point in that.
Of the 974 reasons I like both places, it’s their opposites that each appeal to me. They are a great study in contrasts. Where HK is gritty, raw, fast-paced, random and glitzy, Tokyo so far has been neat, orderly, slightly slower and a little less glitzy.
The one where Tokyo does outshine HK, the taxi drivers. That’s another post…
* Thanks to Jarryd James for the title to this post. Number 7 on Triple J’s Hottest 100 last year. Seemed fitting to use an Australian’s song title.