I’m not new to dressing in costume and pretending I’m something or someone I’m not. I put this down to quite a few outings to the HK Sevens, various annual dinners and the HK tradition of looking for any excuse to do something a little silly. I also put this down to my childhood desire of wanting to be an actor which has never fully left. 

There tends to be quite a bit of planning to decide on the outfit and then to work out the best way to construct it. This could involve trips to novelty stores, tailors and a whole street which seems devoted to these kinds of escapades.

I’ve just experienced something similar in Madagascar.

We had the inaugural Fish & Coral Party which, not surprisingly, involved everyone dressing up as one or the other. Also not surprisingly, there were people who dressed up as something entirely different that was related to the volunteer work we are doing.

We had a week to decide what to wear and how we were going to make it. There is no stores where we are staying so anything that needed to be purchased had to be something which could be bought in the local village. 

There are no supermarkets, craft stores, tailors or even streets. Material could be bought in the form of sheets which are sold on the side of the road. 

Outfits ranged from a penguin (there is a link…), to various fish. The fish were either the way the fish looked or, as in my case, an interpretation of the fish name, shape or characteristic.

I dressed as a retired porn star from the 1970s who now runs a strip club called The Damsels. There was a lot more fish humour in my backstory. I like a good backstory to my characters, it’s easier to stay focused. It also gives me a good giggle.

I learnt a lot through this exercise including the effects of having big boobs. If I had a dollar for every time I told people to look me in the eyes, my character could probably have retired a lot earlier! While it was said in jest, it did have me thinking that this really does happen to people and how frustrating this must be. 

I can’t blame them for wanting to feel them when I couldn’t stop playing with them either – they were distracting for all of us! To be fair to everyone at the party, we were all clowning around and they were also curious how I managed to go from my usual size to something that I could rest my own head on and store my black book, phone and lipstick in.

I had become my own handbag.

Not only that, it was also difficult to eat and to see my feet. My centre of gravity had shifted. Fortunately for me, my new boobs were pillows so if I fell, at least it would be a soft landing. 

I now have somewhat of an understanding for all those women that are considerably larger in the chest than me. I may not have walked a mile in their shoes but I have spent an evening / early morning with extraordinarily large breasts which weighed a lot less than what real / silicon ones would. 

The struggle is real.

We had an hilarious evening that will be talked about for quite a while. As will my boobs.

I went as one of the more boring looking fish from the tropics however, when I first heard the name, it said “retired porn star” to me. I said this to everyone else and that’s how we’re all remembering this fish species. 

Dusky Sweetlips.

* Thanks to The Avalanches for the title to this post. They’ve recently released their first new song in 16 years!