Or: I Need to Dedicate Myself to Constructing a Teleporter in 2018

It’s time for the annual kick I give myself for making such insignificant progress in the construction of a working teleporter that produces no reconstruction errors on arrival at the destination.

This Christmas, I will be with my Mum, brother and two nieces in Geelong (it’s a regional town near Melbourne, Australia). I’m staying at one location for the entire day. I think the last time I didn’t have a multiple destination Christmas was in 1982 or so. Over the ensuing period, families have expanded, split and expanded again. These all result in more visits expected on Christmas Day..

When I’ve stayed in HK, Christmas has been spent with friends either at their homes or a restaurant or in dog park before going to a couple of other places. Even the Christmas where I made my own lunch and dined with my dog (one of my best Christmases, very relaxing!), I went out with friends afterward for a few celebratory beverages (my turkey was properly cooked which was one of many things we celebrated. I should have brought some turkey to share so the dog and I wouldn’t need to be eating turkey leftovers for the next month – turkey risotto, turkey curry, turkey sandwiches, turkey stock. Even my dog grew sick of turkey!).

Not this year.

I’m staying in.

After visiting many people and making new friends through my travels this year, the staying in doesn’t feel quite right. There are many people I would like to spend Christmas with and if I had been more dedicated to the construction of the teleporter, it would have been possible.

I could have Christmas lunch / dinner around the world, working with time zones, and caught up with everyone. I may end up being the size of a very large house at the end of it all so adjustments in the teleporter would need to be made to allow for my weight / size increase. I’d wear a flowing dress or have an elastised waistband in my trousers, skirt or shorts to allow for my own comfort.

I would do the same again for New Year’s Eve and enjoy the worldwide festivities with friends everywhere. Maybe I’d bring everyone with me to the next destination and we could have a progressive NYE party. Please check your passports that they have more than six months validity while I sort out the teleporter.

Since I’m not able to wish you all a great Christmas and New Year in person, I’ll do it here instead:

“Merry Christmas and a safe, prosperous, healthy 2018 where you take a risk and do some things you didn’t ever think were possible. May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” I have to thank Nelson Mandela for the last sentence.

Now, back to the whiteboard…

* Thanks to Meredith Willson who wrote this tune in 1951. It’s been sung by everyone from Alvin and the Chipmunks through to Big Bird and a few others too.