or: Be Careful With Well-Intentioned Advice – yes that is ironic…

This week is the first time my name was specifically mentioned in a Trip Advisor review for diving. Not only that, it was overwhelmingly positive and I was both quite proud of myself and the person who wrote the review – she had trouble making her first dive and panicked while on the surface so went back to the boat. I managed to convince her to try again and have a second dive with me.

Not only did she do it. She loved it and then decided to do a third dive too.

Overcoming a fear response and pushing through it is an impressive effort especially when it is your life that you are concerned about in the first place so the fear isn’t totally irrational.

I was and still am very impressed with her and pleased to know she will now dive again as a result.

I’m also pleased for myself partly because she trusted me enough to try and partly because I had the confidence in knowing I could help her if she would let me.

This is a pretty big deal especially for a fairly new Divemaster.

I was going to post about this on Facebook and found myself holding back. This led to me questioning why.

Now that’s when things became interesting…

My mind flashed back to my last year of primary school when I won a substantial sum of money (for my age) for correctly guessing what a sound was on a radio competition. Obviously I was overjoyed and I guess I must have mentioned it a few times to my brother (I don’t remember doing this however it does make sense with what happened next). Doing what any brother would, he complained to my Dad.

My Dad gave me a piece of advice that I never forgot. He told me I was meant to be like BP (the petrol company) – the Quiet Achiever (their slogan of the time).

Please don’t ever give this advice to anyone.

I’m sure my Dad meant well and was trying to make sure I wouldn’t turn out into someone that continuously blows their own trumpet however, there is a massive problem with females in general in that most of us don’t tend to blow our own trumpets enough.

It is something that many of us carry into the work environment in one way or another and our achievements, of which we should justifiably be proud of, end up going unnoticed, to our own detriment.

Some men are like this too.

Some cultures also do this for fear of standing out and being cut down to size (yes, Australians, I am talking about you in and the Tall Poppy Syndrome though many Asian cultures also don’t speak about their individual achievements as their work is about the team, rather than the individual).

Clearly I had it on both fronts….

So, I’m taking this moment to remind everyone to own their achievements and sing it from the rooftops when you do something well, otherwise others may never know and you may miss out on other opportunities as a result.

I am also taking this moment to remind everyone the well-meaning advice you give children sticks around for a very, very long time (this pearl has been in my mind for over 35 years now and I can tell you exactly the place in our house where it happened and even which chair my Dad was sitting on). You are in a position of power, be careful what you do with it – even in jest.

The third and final takeaway point is facing your fears can be a good thing and create a better memory than what the fear itself leaves.

 

* Thanks to Mike and the Mechanics for the title to this post. Coincidentally, my Dad really liked this song!