or: How my phone use has changed over ten years

I was in Beijing for a little while last week to sightsee, including the Great Wall. As a result of the other Great Wall, the one that is not visible from space, that being the Great Firewall of China, combined with slow internet at the hotel, I was unable to blog.

This was the first one I have missed in three or so years.

I was also unable to use any Google-related product, Facebook or Instagram though for some reason, Messenger and WhatsApp worked however I was unable to download or upload photos.

There are workarounds to this. I could have chosen a hotel which users a VPN and faster internet or downloaded an app before I left HK or paid for another VPN.

Instead I had a mini-digital detox. “Mini” because I still checked my emails and used my phone to arrange a tour. It was also used to take quite a few photos.

I’m not usually glued to my phone however I noticed that I could do with using it a little less. I realised I tend to check social media throughout the day for no apparent reason.

Not anymore.

Now I’m going to reach for a book or so something else instead. It is a habit that I want to break.

I don’t want to become like those I’ve been watching on the train in both China and HK. Most seem to be checking social media or surfing the web or playing a game (generally either Candy Crush or some first person shooter game though football is becoming popular) I know this because I’ve looked over the shoulders of those nearest to me to see.

Perhaps some of those screens I didn’t see were of books or research materials.

Over the last ten or so years, I’ve been changing how I use my phone so this is just the next step.

It’s been a bit harder for me to be vigilant about it as technology has improved so these digital detoxes help me see when I’ve slipped as it’s easy for these things to become a habit which I don’t even recognise has become a problem.

Over this time I’ve turned off more and more notifications on my phone.

When I thought about it, not many / anything on my phone requires me to know about it the second it happens – someone commenting or liking my posts or replying / sending me an email, for example, can definitely wait until I’m next logged into whatever platform is needed.

I don’t need to know any news instantly so I’ve never turned this one on. I can read about it at a time that is convenient to me without interrupting whatever it is I’m doing or whomever it is I’m with. The only urgent news to me is a nuclear bomb going off or a terror threat in the area I happen to be and I’m guessing I would find out about that pretty quickly even without the aid of a notification on my phone.

None of the red alert badges have numbers in them. I don’t need to know how many unread emails I have or how many notifications in Instagram there are. I just like to know that I have ones to check. I don’t even have the alert badge on for emails. I figure there will always be emails so what’s the point in adding another bit of clutter to my phone and any additional pressure to check something.

Corporate me didn’t have the news alerts on either. I checked the news before I went to work in the morning and was given updates throughout the day of anything relevant.

My phone still rings when people call though I usually have that set to silent and vibrate when I’m with others. This is because I don’t want the ringing to interrupt the flow of conversation with someone that has taken time to be with me face-to-face. The caller can call back or leave a message. Face-to-face contact is a rarity for two (or more) people who have chosen that time to catch up and I would like to honour that rather than break this commitment with an uninvited contact.

I have exceptions for when I’m expecting a call and I explain these to whomever I’m with before the call occurs. The bugger of this situation is I find it difficult to be fully committed to the person in front of me as I’m also paying attention for the noise / feel of my phone. It’s much easier for me after I have taken the call. I’ve inadvertently made the expected caller more important to me than the person I am actually with.

I don’t like doing this.

Corporate me struggled with this one. I used the Do Not Disturb feature on my phone quite a bit when I went out with friends and family. I had it set for unexpected interruptions from my managers, the management team and from key members of my team so that in an emergency, I could be reached.

Given my role, I needed to be contactable at all times.

For my role in Japan, I also kept on the notifications for earthquakes as my role had specific actions to take regardless of where the earthquake occurred. My roles in HK saw me keep the HK Observatory notifications on as I needed to monitor typhoons in the event that we needed to send people home as they neared.

I read somewhere about how leaving your mobile phone on the table during a conversation sends a subconscious signal to the person / people you’re with that the contacts in the phone are more important than they are since, if the phone rings, it will be answered. Given the average number of contacts is somewhere between 160 to 670 (depending on which study is quoted) that’s a lot of people that are being thought of as more important.

With this in mind, I have my phone away for the most part and also turned to silent / vibrate so the sound doesn’t distract either. It comes out for photos and then goes away again. Quite often my phone still eats before I do. Not sure if I’ll bother changing this or not as I like a record of some of the foods I get to eat in various places. I think being in HK for so long now has made this customary for me too as it is fairly common for people here to do this. There are other things I should work on first…

Anyways, the interesting part that goes with all of this is wearable technology and what happens with this. I haven’t read any studies about this though I’m guessing it is probably similar.

I realised wearables were a problem for me even when I had my minimal notifications set to silent. A vibration on my wrist was still a distraction for me and diverts my attention from who I’m with or whatever I’m doing. One of my gadgets use to light up to advertise what I was missing / what it was notifying to everyone so I think it then became a distraction to others too.

All of it is now off except for the exercise related notifications – I exercise alone so hitting my targets and having my gadget tell me in one way or another is fine.

Phone calls can wait.

I’m a big fan of technology and can easily convince myself of the “need” for the latest gadget. I am becoming more discerning about how I use them though as I don’t want their use to be at the expense of my being with someone else in person.

A phone should enhance my relationships not be a detriment to them.

This is not the phone’s fault. It is how I choose to use the phone.

Maybe my thinking about all of this is a little old-fashioned but I think a person right in front of me should take priority over what is going on in cyberspace.

A phone is a great way of staying connected. Some apps on it add to this. They are particularly useful to me since I have friends and family located in various time zones so it is unlikely they are expecting instant responses. These tools are useful for scheduling catch-up calls to make sure both me and the person I’ll be speaking with are going to be available to chat and not be with someone else or doing something else at that time.

I like a no distraction phone call so the caller can have my undivided attention too. They have made time for me so this is my way of making time for them.

It is definitely easier to do this without children!

And definitely easier with no corporate responsibilities too.

Thanks to De La Soul for the title to this post.