or: The upside of a “yes” habit rather than a “no” one

I was given a surprise parasailing experience this week while on a catamaran trip to another island with some friends.

Awesome gift and experience!

To see the ocean from this perspective, with a gentle breeze, the salty sea smell and only the sound of birds and my parasailing buddy, it was breathtaking and inspiring.

It was also thought provoking.

Mauritius is protected by a barrier reef which results in quite a bit of shallow lagoons in various shades of turquoise. (I’m constantly surprised at how many colours the ocean can be.) The sand in these areas is usually a soft bright white as the parrotfish population is fairly healthy here. I can usually see this from our boat going to various dive sites too however being a little higher affords a slightly different perspective and, as it isn’t something I see everyday, that’s what started my thinking which continued over the past few days.

I was thinking how my life changed just by saying “yes” more frequently.

The thought started when I was being strapped into the parasailing harness. I thought how many people would say no to this opportunity if they were offered it, and then started thinking about what I was like until I made a change one particular New Year’s Eve over 20 years ago.

I had caught myself earlier that year saying “no” to going out for drinks one night after work. It was a spur of the moment invite for a spur of the moment drinks with some colleagues. I realised as I was saying “no” that I had no good reason for actually saying it. I had no other plans, my partner had his own thing that evening, it wasn’t a school night and I was turning this down out of habit.

I decided it was a bad habit and one I needed to change because I could easily become anti-social and people would stop inviting me out if I kept saying no. 

I like my alone time quite a bit since I need to recharge (and many of my hobbies are solo ones – reading, writing, thinking – yes, thinking is a hobby!), however if I’m not even thinking about my response and simply saying “no”, that is not a need, that is a habit.

That was the start of my idea for that year’s New Year’s Resolution (for those of you who don’t know me well, I like to plan!). 

The Resolution was that I had to say “yes” to anything I was invited to unless it meant I was double-booking myself. I didn’t want to be rude just to break a habit I had created.

That year, I did say “yes” to every invitation. I also said “yes” to more opportunities I was offered at work which meant my role grew and so did my salary. My social life improved and I made more friends too with a variety of interests. I was going to different events, seeing plays and concerts that I would typically have missed and spending more time outdoors. 

At the end of the year, I reviewed my progress before setting the next Resolution. I decided I didn’t need to be quite so extreme anymore since it had already become a habit. I wasn’t saying “no” anymore and then having to correct myself. My ‘yes’ was automatic. 

What was interesting, is the next year, I kept saying yes to everything even though I gave myself the opportunity to think about it. It was also interesting to réalisé I was doing more inviting and initiating of activités too.

And the following year.

Then I was in Hong Kong. 

Meeting new people, expanding my circle of friends, learning a new job. 

My ‘yes’ continued for many years. Sometimes they led me up the garden path however there was always a good story as a result.

My “yes” led me to working in Japan though this one came with a little thought.

My “yes” also led me to leaving that role, relocating back to HK and then going traveling.

It led me to being in Mauritius the first time, then the second, third and fourth times.

It led me to living here now.

It will lead me to meeting more people, seeing more of the world and having more fun.

It will lead to some interesting stories for sure!

One three letter word that was initially so difficult to say because of a bad habit has now become a positive way of life and fairly automatic.

Nike has “Just do It.”

I have, “just say yes.”

There will always be a good story!

 

Thanks to Yello for the title to this post. It’s also a bit of a nod to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as his quote “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” is a good reminder of one of the reasons to say “yes” more often – without thinking too much about it!